


Cooking Condemnation

by writteninweakness



Series: Intelligence of the Heart [3]
Category: Helix Waltz (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Letters, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 10:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: Magda writes to tell Barbara about her first attempt to cook for Barris. (It did not go well.)





	Cooking Condemnation

**Author's Note:**

> This will make a lot more sense if one has read the first two stories in this series, but if one does not want to read them, all that they really need to know is that Magda and Barris eloped and left Finsel to get away from the machinations of the duke and her mother. They're rebuilding their lives to be a force for good back in Finsel again, but they're not there yet.
> 
> They spoke about cooking in the last part of the second story, and my brain decided this should be written. My brain is a strange and hostile place and I generally go with whatever weird inspiration it might have.

* * *

_Dearest niece Barbara,_

_I have to write you about an event I am certain you will be sorry you were not present to witness. You know, of course, that your uncle and I have decided to make our own way of things, and while at first we took lodgings in a hotel, we now have a modest home of our own—and when I say modest, I do mean it, we have only a few rooms and no servants at all. Lady Ellenstein would be appalled to see me doing work as a maid, but as I’ve already done it before, I don’t mind so much. It pleases me to care for our own home, and since I don’t have the same ridiculous standards as my mother and your uncle is so fastidious, it’s not too much to manage. He puts all his things away when he’s done using them, and I rarely have to pick up after him unless he’s deep in his work._

_The business is going very well—demand is high and Barris thinks we’ll be expanding it sooner than he’d expected, which means more workers and more time on his part, which I don’t like too much, though he’s training me to do my part as well. He always calls it our business, not just his. I am enjoying it thoroughly, and people seem to like it. They come back again and again—and before you say it’s for me, it’s really not. Your uncle is very popular these days, since most people can’t understand the law or hope to afford a lawyer, but Barris can usually explain it to them easily and tells them how to handle their legal problems without charging them more. On rare occasions, I have to translate for him, which annoys him as he doesn’t see why people don’t understand it, but he’s also so adorable when he pouts over it._

_I suppose I still sound like a foolish newlywed, and I am, but your uncle and I are very happy, deliriously so, and it looks like we’re already on track to be able to help Finsel again, like we wanted, so there’s very little to be unhappy about, aside from missing my friends and… well, my cooking._

_Yes, I said it. My cooking._

_Your uncle had his first taste of it, and his expression alone was memorable…_

* * *

“You can admit it,” she said, looking down at her own plate in dismay before forcing her eyes back to his. She hardly dared look, wishing she’d had her own bite before he took his, to warn him off, since it was one of the worst things she’d ever eaten, and she’d had to try some awful things in practice for her former life. Her mother had been adamant that she could conceal her reaction even to the worst of food since it would be rude to insult any host even if the meals prepared were bad. That was for gossip later, not open admission. “It’s terrible, isn’t it?”

Barris laughed, his smile sheepish even as he nodded. “Guilty, my love.”

She winced. “Did you just sentence my cooking to lifetime imprisonment?”

“That? I’d execute it to put it and us out of its misery. It is quite horrid.”

She grimaced. “Horrid? And you… you… you’re never going to eat anything I make again, are you? It was that bad, so bad you’ll be sick and—execution. My cooking should be _executed._ Oh, I am so mortified I want to—”

“Stop that,” he said, taking her hands. “It’s not fair to expect you to be at the level of professionals or even a practiced civilian who does this often for their family. I fully expected this first meal to be awful, and I make no boasts—anything I prepared would have been just as bad.”

“But Barris—”

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She tensed, staring at him. He sighed. “I am not your mother. I am not going to punish you for a mistake. I want you to learn because you want to improve, not to spite me or to avoid something you fear, but because it’s something you want to learn and master. And if you do not, then I do not want you to force yourself to do it, either. You are not obligated to do that even as my wife. We have managed so far, and we can continue to make other arrangements for food. The business is growing enough to where we can hire a cook.”

She frowned. “I… I wanted to learn. I… I was hoping to surprise both of us and make something wonderful.”

He smiled. “You know, you are adorable when you pout.”

“I… Oh.” She eyed him with suspicion. “This is because I said you were adorable when you pouted, isn’t it? I mean, you were, with how you thought that law should be so much easier for us non-lawyers to understand. That mix of exasperation and desperate hope...”

“I am hardly flattered, and no. I’m not just saying it because you said it first. Your expression was full of innocence and even a bit childish, something we have both had little occasion to be, and now… we are free to be anything we wish to be. If you want to learn to cook, I will not stop you. I think we’ll have to consult a professional, though, because that… I do believe making someone eat it would fall under ‘cruel and inhumane’ treatment.”

“Barris!”

“Ah, that blush… You are making me hungry for something other than food, my love, which I would not have thought possible given that taste, but I think I could be suitably distracted, and wouldn’t you rather forget this unpleasantness as well?”

“Of course, but that’s hardly fair. When you look at me like that and speak to me like that—you say I still have my own will, but it almost doesn’t feel like that because I am so weak to both those things and would do nearly anything you asked of me.”

“Hmm. Are you making a case for coercion? I may have to countersue, after all.”

“What?”

“I already told you—that meal qualifies as torture.”

“You had one bite.”

“And that was more than enough. Admit it.”

It was, and she found herself laughing as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her back to their bedroom.

* * *

_Though there are some details of our evening, of course, that I won’t tell you. I am just grateful your uncle was teasing about suing me over the meal. It was a disaster, but he forgave me and still loves me._

_He even arranged lessons for me from the best cook in our neighborhood. They were quite disappointed to learn Barris was happily married and keep trying to seduce him. The family he was born into show, though, because he seems quite willing to exploit that just enough to get me lessons—he’s got that poor person convinced that if they turn me into a good cook, they’ll have proved their worth to him. I suppose it’s true, but it’s kind of misleading, since he swears he’s never letting me go every time he puts his arms around me._

_Ah, sorry. I’m not sure you want to hear these things about your uncle. I just… We are very much in love, and I’m afraid I don’t see any reason to hide it or not speak of it. For those who said we’d be unhappy and couldn’t make this life work, I know now that they’re wrong, not just in theory but in practice. We do have our disagreements—your uncle has learned the hard way how bad it is to indulge me over sleeping late and he has even said you and Juven were more responsible than I am in the morning, and I’ve found him to be insufferable at times when he thinks he’s right, but we are learning a fine art of compromise that tends to make us both very happy in the end._

_And yes, I do mean the implication in the words I just wrote. Your uncle and I have no issues in that department, either. I can’t believe I’m speaking of such things, but I find I need to tell someone. This freedom I have now is absolutely intoxicating, and I am so happy._

_I hope you can visit soon—I promise even if I haven’t learned to cook properly by then, there will be edible food. I think your uncle misses you, too._

_Love,_

_Your favorite aunt_


End file.
